Saturday, 4 January 2014

TEMPLATE OF A ‘FOR PROFIT’ BUSINESS CALLED – CHURCH

1. Instead of calling it ‘tithes and offering’,
let’s call it weekly investments and have
profit sharing based on how much you
invest.

2. Instead of saying the ‘church owns this
and that property’, it becomes, ‘WE’ own
this and that property and even if we leave
the particular church, our ‘investment’ is
intact and can be sold to someone or
cashed in.

3. Instead of having a ‘general overseer who
collects’ from a conglomerate of companies,
sorry churches, we will have an MD and
respective fund and project managers who
manage our portfolio of investments and
they can be removed for non-performance.

4. Instead of questioning ‘where all the
money raised truly went’, we would all have
access and a part to play in where the
money really goes.

5. Instead of having ‘ridiculous money lines
for healing’, we can all contribute to a fund
that will create financial miracles for those
who need to pay for expensive procedures
to save their lives. The in house and
outdoor miraculous healings will be free.
6. Instead of pastor being ‘the only one
driving around in the ‘gift’’ every exorbitant
gift is sold and re-invested so that ‘ALL’ can
partake.

7. Instead of ‘bodyguards’, surround the
pastors that feel their lives are being
threatened, with children, trust me, no one
wants to harm children,

8. Instead of building a school that ‘those
who have contributed to the fund cannot
afford to send their children to’, set it up in
such a way that members and contributors
pay a bare minimum and non-members help
to subsidize it, or better still, these
conglomerates have enough money that they
can afford to pay the teachers and maintain
the schools with ease without asking for
fees.

9. Instead of building ‘humongous elaborate
edifices’, how about using that money to
send some of our brighter ones to the best
schools, training them to be real leaders, not
just deacons and associate pastors in the
confines of the church, and then shooting
them into the world as arrows for CHRIST.
They cannot be denied access, because they
are qualified, they will be part of the law
making process so that we can effect for a
morally balanced society in regulating what
is shown on TV, what affects our children,
corruption et al. (it will be money well spent,
though it may start totally being effective
with our grandchildren, but still better than
the alternative, those buildings will be old
fashioned, burnt or even destroyed by then)

10. Instead of pastors claiming that ‘they
have been called’ and therefore must make
all decisions and have autonomy, people
can take back their investments from such
and shop for a better setting, or shall I say
‘soil’

11. Instead of that ‘puny over priced private
jet’, we could go for a bigger and more
practical 737 or something, so we can take
a team of evangelists to those hard to
pronounce places pastor talks about
needing evangelism and he needs the luxury
of a PJ for.
This is an unfortunate burlesque…

KDL®™©2013
#ifitistrulyoneforallandallforonethenthisshouldwork

This article was written by Kehinde Dacosta-
Lawrence
https://www.facebook.com/ kehinde.dacostalawrence

Justice Ministry to Spend 181.3 million Naira on clothing in 2014!

According to a report by Punch, the Federal Ministry of Justice
Headquarters will spend the sum of N181.3m on uniforms and other
garments in 2014, according to the budget estimates submitted to
the National Assembly by Minister of Finance, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.
A copy of the proposed budget of the headquarters of the justice
ministry, which was obtained by a Punch correspondent, revealed
that the sum of N181, 391,000 was allocated for “uniforms and
other clothing” in 2014.
The sum is part of the total N4.7bn allocated to the Federal
Ministry of Justice Headquarters in the 2014 budget proposal.
However, the nature of the “uniforms and other clothing” was not
disclosed.
The ministry is to spend the sum of N1.3bn on legal services in the
New Year, while N1.4bn is allocated for consulting and professional
services.
Travels, including local and foreign trips, formed a substantial part
of the ministry’s proposed budget.
The sum of N362.6m has been budgeted for travels and transport
(general).
Local travel and transport (training) and local travel and transport
(others) will cost N76.7m and N142.3m, respectively.
In the same vein, international travel and transport (training), and
international travel and transport (others), will cost N34.9m and
N108.5m respectively.
The sum of N371.7m was budgeted for materials and supplies
(general).
Also, the sum of N59.4m was set aside for foreign grants and
contributions, as well as grants to foreign international
organisations.
The proposed budget suggests that the Federal Ministry of Justice
Headquarters intends to upgrade its security system as the
purchase of security equipment as well as improvement of ministry
security system would cost N40m, respectively.
The same N40m is equally budgeted for the rehabilitation and repair
of office buildings, while the sum of N19.8m is provided for
maintenance of office building and residential quarters.
Other sums allocated for maintenance works include N9.9m for
maintenance of plants/generators; N27.7m for cleaning/fumigation
services; and N59.1m for general maintenance of motor vehicle/
transport equipment.
The proposed budget also reveals that the Federal Ministry of
Justice Headquarters will spend the sum of N55.8m on fuel and
lubricants.
Motor vehicle fuel will cost the sum of N24.7m, while plant/
generator fuel costs the sum of N28.3m.
N7.8m is provided for refreshment and meals.
Also, the sum of N56.9m is earmarked for a baseline survey of
justice institutions, while the sum of N16.5m is budgeted for ICT
consulting.
The proposed budget further shows that the ministry budgets the
sum of N37.2m for utilities (general).
Electricity charges will cost N31.5m, water rates 904,016, while
sewerage charges will take the sum of N4.8m while the ministry will
spend the sum of N14.6m on printing of security documents.

Culled from Punch

Friday, 3 January 2014

In The Context Of Sexualities

The question isn't whether Mr Anonymous
is gay or not as I am not bothered about
that one bit. I`m however bothered about
the fact that an idiot will have just one look
at someone and ignorantly reach the daft
conclusion that he is gay simply because he
is not constantly seen hanging around with
girls regardless of the quality of the girls.

Sometimes, the misconstrued conclusion
arises when a metrosexual who places
strong emphasis on his appearance or
lifestyle is mistaken for a gay man simply
because he has put a lot of credence into
fashion trends. The fact that he wears red or
other neon coloured trousers doesn’t make
him gay neither does the fact that he
ex foliates/moisturizes his face, gets a
pedicure or manicure or stylish haircuts. It
simply means he is a young man with some
money to spend and living his life the way
he pleases whilst taking meticulous care to
manage his body or that he is simply
meticulous about his outward appearances
and invests whatever resources that is
available to him on his looks. Yes, these
may be attributes stereotypically related to
gay men, but they do not necessarily imply
that such an individual is gay. As a matter of
fact he may still find the thought of actually
getting intimate with another man truly
repulsive.

Some even call you gay simply
because you are not married. Now,I ask,how
stupid is it for someone to arrive at such a
narrow minded conclusion based on the
reasons I just mentioned? And oh,you could
also be tagged gay if some raggedy chic
was all over you like white on rice and you
sort of decided she was so raggedy that you
WOULDN'T even touch her with someone
else`s peanuts if you could borrow one. This
is becoming a sad mental trend and people
are hopping on it. We need to be more
open-minded people. If you are a nice
looking single chap and have not been
tagged as gay yet,don`t start rejoicing yet as
this could happen to you any time. Well, I
reckon you ain`t doing anything right until
you have been tagged gay in this city of
Lagos. Even Banky W has had a taste of it so
if it`s happening to you at the moment,I
advise you to accept if as a phase that will
soon go away. Jobless and inconsequential
folks must find something to occupy
themselves nah,abi?

I run into gays sometimes and never,repeat,never have I had issues with
them. A person’s sexuality does not affect
the amount of love or hate they get from
me,their character determines that. The last
time I checked Elton John is gay but does
more wonderful Charity work across the
globe than all our congress men who
recently promulgated anti-gay laws and
neglected more sensible ideas such as
creating a special court to try corrupt
government officials. I knew that was a
diversionary tactic right from the onset.

In The Name Of The Lord

Religion remains one of the most
controversial topics for discussion, yet.
Some days back I encountered a factor that
motivated me to write this – I learnt from a
dear friend who works for one of the
numerous churches that a mutual
acquaintance that also worked as a staff in
their church and defended the church and
pastors with his blood had left the same
church he lived for. He left on the grounds
that he had discovered certain irregularities
amongst the leaders of the church,
irregularities that shook his faith.
Apparently, the remarkable awesome
immense faith which the guy professed was
anchored in all the wrong places; guess
what, this guy is just one of the millions of
Christians whose faith seem to be rooted in
the wrong places.
Most will wonder - ‘what is religious talk
doing on a social platform such as
this’. Well, that question will be answered
once you realize that religious faith is
apparently the most primordial phenomenon
that has had overwhelming ubiquitous
influence on humanity’s social, economic
and political undertakings. From the earliest
times, mankind’s decisions on agriculture,
politics, fashion, marriage, war and other
significant pillars of society, have been
mostly guided by religion. A look at ancient
Egypt, Israel, Greece, Rome, Babylon and
host of other powers from back then will
throw light on how mankind has lived, ate,
drank and breathed various religious forms
through time. Back then the temporal sword
(secular political power) and spiritual sword
(divine religious power) were practically
fused together and was such that, if the
chief priest wasn’t the paramount ruler of
the society, then it was most likely he/she
will be the most trusted adviser of the
paramount ruler and thus indirectly the most
powerful person still. In more recent history,
an example of the power of religion has
been exhibited in the era when the ‘Papal
Bull’ from the papacy could grant a
sovereign entity permission to invade and
occupy another sovereign (a specific
example is the papal bull ‘Dum Diversas’
issued by Pope Nicholas V to the
Portuguese Monarch King Alfonso V
granting him the right to attack, conquer and
enslave Saracens, Pagans and ‘enemies of
Christ in general’). The bull was absolute in
its mandate as it gave the entity to which it
was granted title to the lands and every
possession owned by the other entity that is
subjected to colonization. In contemporary
times the temporal and spiritual swords
have been more distinctly removed from
each other but that hasn’t overly diminished
the power of religion over people; the
economic billions controlled by religious
bodies which are practically transforming
into multinationals and political conflicts
(terrorism, civil wars in certain regions, et
al) are testimonies to the sustained clutch of
religion on international affairs. (NOTE THAT
RELIGION AS USED IN THIS PARAGRAPH
INCLUDES OTHER FAITHS BESIDES
CHRISTIANITY).
I believe I have justifiably established in the
paragraph above that a little talk about
religion isn’t so out of place here as the
phenomenon permeates every facet of our
lives; our socio-economic, political and
general lifestyles, which are the primary
concerns of this platform. Like Shrek said to
Donkey in the first installment of SHREK -
Shrek – “Ogres are like onions.”
Trust Donkey to come up with some stupid
remark – “They stink? Oh, they make you
cry. Oh, you leave them out in the sun, they
get all brown and start sprouting little white
hairs.”
Eventually an exasperated Shrek screams –
“Noooo, layers! Onions have layers, ogres
have layers, we both have layers.”
Well, most of us have layers too and know
that there is more to life than the mundane
stuff that occupy us daily. Balance within
one is key for social, political and economic
wellbeing, hence a little religious tonic here
might just do us all some good.
Before I proceed I want to emphasize that I
would subsequently focus on Christianity
only, not because I don’t have regards for
Islam and any other belief system (as it is
only GOD in his infinite wisdom that can
disapprove of any faith. Even Christ in John
10:16 talked about ‘his other sheep from
other fold’), rather I will focus on Christianity
to keep this write-up simple, brief and
because I have been a Christian all my life,
thus I am better equipped to stir this
discourse in more familiar waters. I hope my
Muslim and other brethren will find common
grounds from which to draw some wisdom
and make contributions as well, I am sure
that as we have plenty of people
misinterpreting, misrepresenting or misusing
Christianity, so also it is in other faiths.
Now, my concern here isn’t with doctrine
and conduct in the various ‘church brands’
which litter our society (Lord knows I have a
healthy amount of qualms with a whole lot
of stuff going on in most churches), my
concern is with the ESSENCE of our faith. I
spoke about the gentleman who pulled out
of a church he seemed willing to die for
because he discovered certain anomalies in
its high places; this begs the question –
where was his faith really anchored, men or
God? Judging from his action, the answer is
quite obvious, his faith was anchored in men
and when those men failed him, he simply
decided to change brand (as if he was
changing a mere brand of detergent).
The core of every religion is faith and hence
the foundation of that faith is of utmost
importance because that’s where the life
blood of the religion stems from. In the case
of Christianity, the bible makes it explicitly
clear from whence we should draw our faith,
in – Mark 11:22, Acts 20:21, Rom 10:17,
Gal 3:26, Eph 3:17, Heb 11:27, Heb 12:2 – I
won’t bore you with long grammar on these
passages, just read them (and many others
not quoted here) and listen to God’s still
small voice lay the necessary explanations
bare. I always told my friend and the
gentleman who left their church not to
anchor their faith in men because while no
man is infallible, some are out rightly
dubious. Being staff of the church meant
they would discover certain information
ordinary members were blissfully ignorant of
and being a logical and pragmatic person, I
knew that unless they really held fast to
God, the things they would encounter as
staff will really shake them; hence I always
exhorted them to keep their eyes on God. We
often had arguments in which these
gentlemen defended their pastors and other
church leaders. As I expected, in time,
things began to unravel and the gentleman
who left just couldn’t take it at a point.
However the funny thing is, unless he
remains a carefree floor member in his new
church, he is bound to move again once he
burrows deep into his new brand because
there isn’t any church without its share of
rotten apples. Like every institution run by
man, the church has its elite class, some of
who subvert it for their own personal
yearnings. So if one is naïve enough to
totally place one’s trust in such elite who
outwardly seem like shining examples, your
guess is as good as mine. 1Tim 4:1
succinctly captures most of what is
happening in churches these days, hence
1John 4:1 enjoins us to test every spirit so
as to know which is which. I believe the
quoted verses and many others not quoted
here will inform us adequately on how not to
anchor our faith in our pastors, deacons,
deaconesses, elders, knights, dames, et al,
so much grammar isn’t required. Don’t get
me wrong, by all means cherish these
people, respect them, love them, appreciate
them, but do not adore or revere them.
Adoration and reverence are a level of
respect reserved for God and only God.
In conclusion, the moment Christ cried out
and gave up the ghost, Matt 27:51 recorded
that the veil in the temple, which separated
us sinners from God’s presence in the holy
of holies, was rent. The consequence of the
rending of that veil at that moment was that
a DIRECT LINE, SPIRITUAL CORRIDOR,
CELESTIAL SUPER HIGHWAY, was activated
for us by Christ and as he said in John
16:23&24, we can all go directly to the
father and ask in his name. Please do not
give up this privilege to your church leaders.

WHAT BETTER WAY TO END A YEAR AND
BEGIN ANOTHER? PROJECT 2013 IS A
WRAP, HELLO 2014. HAPPY NEW YEAR
FOLKS AND REMEMBER ‘WE ARE ALL JOINT
HEIRS WITH THE SON’.

This article was written by Chuddi Madu
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/
ChukwudiMadu

How Useful Or Useless are New Year Resolutions?!

Every new year, people come up with their
resolutions, proclaiming to turn a new leaf
(this new year, imma quit smoking; imma
move closer to God (this one is so on the
regular. lol); I’ll be good, no more promiscuity
(wash of life); I will be this, I will be that…
blah blah blah ) and first opportunity, when
the solidity of the resolution is tested,
people fail!

Why do you/they(noticed the absence of
“we”,well, NYRs are for you mortals, writer
obviously not included) feel the need to
make these decisions. Why do you feel that
changing or rectifying a unit/part of your life
is advantageous to you? How do you
measure the success or not of such NYRs
like planning on being closer to God; who
said drinking is wrong(some would refer to
the wedding at Cana as a reason to drink,
the water to wine miracle; and no, I don’t
drink).
So many people with their resolutions, some
may have up to 20 things they want to
change about themselves. Do you not even
stop to wonder why they are so much?
Don’t you think it might be because these
things are your fundamental psyche make-
ups; the things that define who you are.
I understand that we all want to change for
the better and that we are so much excited
about the new year and what it holds for us
but I also believe it is a grand scam and a
waste of time to expend so much time on
decisions based on an abstract thing. The
only thing new is the day. The fall of night
and the break of dawn; those are the real
indicators of the passage of time. New year,
new month, new week are all abstract. So, if
you are making decisions on how to live
your life, make it daily; one day at a time.
As an aside, I am trying to understand this
new craze for re-spelling things. Now, I
understand the abbreviations that is the
domain of cyber chat. Where “to” is
“2″, gtg, brb, etc exist but what’s with the
“tew” for “to”, “fenk” for “thanks”.
Sometimes enof isn’t enough.(Did you see
what I just did there?! My awesomeness
sometimes surprises me).

Have you a good life!